Friendsgiving is the perfect opportunity to gather with your chosen family and celebrate gratitude in a relaxed, fun atmosphere. Unlike a traditional Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving is a more laid-back event, filled with laughter, and often reflecting your group’s unique bond. Whether you’re hosting for the first time or looking to elevate your gathering, these tips from Rent. and the experts we interviewed will help you create a memorable and stress-free event.
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The history of Friendsgiving
Friendsgiving is a relatively new tradition, one that has quickly become a beloved part of fall for many. It’s thought to have started gaining popularity in the early 2000s, with the name “Friendsgiving” formally recognized around 2011. The holiday brings together elements of Thanksgiving but emphasizes celebrating with friends.
Often held before or after the official holiday, Friendsgiving is for those who can’t make it home or want to celebrate with their chosen family. The casual and collaborative spirit of Friendsgiving is what makes it special — there’s less pressure, more flexibility, and a stronger focus on fun.
Hosting a successful Friendsgiving
Hosting a Friendsgiving can be as simple or elaborate as you want it to be. Whether you’re aiming for a cozy gathering with a few close friends or a big, lively event, the key is to focus on delicious food, great company, and creating an atmosphere that feels warm and welcoming.
Planning the menu
One of the defining features of Friendsgiving is the potluck-style meal. Rather than taking on the daunting task of preparing an entire Thanksgiving dinner yourself, invite your guests to contribute dishes. This not only lightens your load but also brings variety to the table. Be sure to coordinate with your friends so you don’t end up with five desserts and no sides.
As the host, you can focus on preparing the main course or signature dish. If a whole turkey feels like too much, consider roasting a turkey breast or trying a simpler option like roasted chicken or a vegetarian dish. To make things easier and ensure a stress-free event, it’s essential to prep as much as you can the day before. Dishes like stuffing, casseroles, and desserts can be made in advance, allowing you to relax and enjoy the day with your guests.
It’s also important to accommodate dietary restrictions. Check with your guests ahead of time to ensure everyone has something they can enjoy, whether it’s gluten-free, vegan, or allergy-friendly.
Lastly, don’t forget drinks — whether it’s a creative mocktail or festive cocktail for guests to sip on. “When hosting a Friendsgiving, it’s helpful to come up with a cocktail strategy that allows you to maximize having fun with your guests while not sacrificing the quality of your drinks,” Hannah Chamberlain with Spirited LA and Author of the new book, How to Be a Better Drinker, explains.
She adds, “I often like to start with a grand, festive punch, because it’s visually appealing, easy to make ahead of time, and it allows your guests to serve themselves so you’re not stuck behind the bar making drinks all evening. I also like to pre-batch a few bottles of freezer door martinis, manhattans, or negronis to easily pour for guests as the celebration goes later into the evening.”
Setting the scene
Friendsgiving decor should feel cozy and inviting rather than overly formal. There are a few different approaches to take when setting the scene for your Friendsgiving dinner. “Friendsgiving is the perfect opportunity to have fun with creating a festive tablescape. Play with themes, colors, and decor to create an ambiance that elevates the whole experience,” Stina, founder at Hello Lovely Living, shares.
Annie Linder, publisher and CEO of Mom’s First Steps, details her time and effort towards the tablescape’s visuals. “When decorating for Friendsgiving, I spend a lot of time focusing on the tablescape as it’s very visible throughout the gathering and sets the tone for the overall aesthetic. I always look for earthy, autumn-inspired colors that bring warmth to the table — think deep browns, warm reds, burnt orange, and gold accents. Layering textures such as woven placemats and linen napkins tied with twine add depth and dimension. Candles placed throughout the tablescape add the perfect warmth and glow. “
Beyond looking and feeling festive, it’s equally important to consider the mood and energy your tablescape can set for the evening. “As the founder of Von Gern Home, a luxury brand of table and home decor, I believe that the table is an outlet for our creativity and personality to shine,” Kira Fiaman shares.
Additionally, “My one key piece of advice is to make sure you know what you would like the energy of your tablescape to be and to stick to it. Start by selecting a placemat as the foundation of your festive table, as it sets the mood and serves as the starting point for crafting the entire experience.
Never set a table last minute. I love being creative with my tables and it’s one of the few things you can do for a dinner party well ahead of time. You’ll have the flexibility to get yourself ready and get whatever you are serving ready before the guests arrive. Finally, I would never set a table without some sort of candle on it. Whether it’s pillars, votives, or tapers, candlelight always makes for a far more special gathering.”
Bringing people together
Friendsgiving is more than just a meal; it’s about shared experiences and connection over perfection. “Use place cards to strategically seat your guests at the table next to someone they will enjoy talking with,” Lani Schreibstein, product and digital marketing manager of TableTopics® explains.
“Select a TableTopics® question card (or a few) that you think fits each guest best. Include each guest’s question card(s) as a part of their place setting to help spark fun conversations among your guests. To encourage a group conversation, open a set of TableTopics® and start the conversation off by pulling a random card, reading the question out loud, and answering it yourself. Others at the table will naturally join in by giving their answer or commenting on yours. We recommend TableTopics® Gratitude, Dinner Party, or Best Things Ever for a Friendsgiving full of stories and laughter.”
As the meal winds down, keep the energy flowing with a fun activity. “While of course, the meal will be the main event, you can level up your Friendsgiving with a fun and festive activity for your guests,” suggests Julie Stallman with Triangle Senior Year. “Create an instant photo booth with a Friendsgiving photo frame. Guests can pose and snap pictures as they arrive and mingle before the meal. Or, play Friendsgiving Bingo: did anyone wear stretchy pants on purpose? Bring a charcuterie board or get the hiccups?”
Another idea is to incorporate a moment of gratitude, which can even be incorporated into your tablescape ahead of time. “A customized tablescape goes a long way. I love using place settings as a way to highlight the things I’m most grateful for in each of my guests,” Aubry Lybbert, blogger at Finding Beautiful Truth, details. “Think personalized notes giving thanks for traits, attributes, or qualities you really admire. This ‘Thankful’ note acts as both a seat marker and an extremely thoughtful take-home gift.”
Being the hostess with the most-ess
The beauty of Friendsgiving lies in its casual, come-as-you-are vibe, but telling yourself to maintain low stress levels is easier said than done. Being a flawless hostess is made easier with tips and tricks from those who have perfected the art.
“I like to think of hosting as six jobs: the initiator, the organizer, the person in charge of food and beverage, the cleanup crew, the decorator, and finally, the day-of host, details. “I point this out because you don’t have to do all of these alone. That is a lot!
Instead, ask friends to take on different roles. If you’re hosting at your house, maybe someone else manages the food. If you’re doing it all, maybe let the decorating go. The point of Friendsgiving is to enjoy an evening with friends, so let that be your priority instead of overextending yourself trying to do the work of six people.”
– Alex Alexander, lifestyle blogger and founder of the Friendship IRL podcast
“Hosting a Friendsgiving can be the most fun extracurricular activity you ever signed up for – or the most stressful thing you’ve ever come across. I prefer the former, and try to channel my late mother, a legendary hostess herself, who always said to ‘be your own best guest’. “
- Invite people you want to see and spend time with, maybe even ones that you don’t know that well but are interested in getting to know better.
- Prep, prep, prep. The more you prep, the more relaxed you are.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help during the dinner! Your guests will offer, so take them up on it! They can’t cook for you, but they can light candles, help with drinks, etc.
- Invest some time to create a seating chart. Yes, they might feel a little stiff and outdated, but this assures you will be seated next to the person you actually want to talk to, plus you can make sure couples don’t cling to each other, never a good omen for a fun night.
- Last but not least, try to be ready 30 minutes before guests arrive. That leaves you time to have a drink, enjoy the beautiful scene you’ve set, and get in the mood to chat, laugh, and generally have a good time.
– Sophie von Oertzen, Designer and Founder of Sophie Williamson Design
“The food is the least important part; the most important thing is that your guests feel welcome. This is tied to that old saying: “People won’t remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.” So welcome everyone, make them feel the gift of their presence, and facilitate the conversation.
People enjoy being in the homes of others in part because it’s a chance to get to know their host better. This is a chance to let your personality shine! To serve the meal on that china your mother-in-law foisted upon you despite all the times you said no (and tell the story), rope your guests into playing the game your family played as a child, or ask all your friends to share the most awkward thing a family member has said at a past Thanksgiving.”
– Emily Walker, Founder of The Next Dinner Party and Next Dinner Party Designs
Eat, drink, and be thankful
Friendsgiving is a time to celebrate friendship, gratitude, and the joy of gathering with people you care about. By keeping things simple, embracing the spirit of togetherness, and adding a few personal touches, you can create an unforgettable event. Remember, the best part of Friendsgiving isn’t the food, the wine, or the decor — it’s the laughter, stories, and memories shared around the table. Happy Friendsgiving!