You don’t need a Harvard degree (or Hahvahd, as it’s known locally) to know that people in Boston are a special breed. They’re used to a tough life full of long winters, expensive rent and counting all of those sports championships.
But beyond all of that, there are a few distinguishing characteristics of Boston and its people, which can easily be used to tell a townie from a tourist.
31 wicked true things about living in Boston
1. You often get confused between actual MBTA tweets regarding delays and the MBTA Excuse Generator account. (i.e., #MBTA: #GreenLine: Moderate delays due to a pack of Rodents of Unusual Size (ROUS) at Government Center).
2. You either love the Wahlbergs, or you hate them. There’s absolutely nobody who could “take em or leave em.”
3. No matter how accurate an actor’s Boston accent may be, you’ll always say it is “friggin’ awful!”
4. You know that Whitey didn’t actually keep the drugs out of Boston.
5. You don’t even need to order your “iced lahge regulah” when you approach the Dunkin’ drive-thru, it’s just waiting for you when you arrive.
6. You like your chain restaurants to be local. Except for Chick-fil-A. That sh*t can stay!
7. At least one person you know swears they graduated high school with Sully from Godsmack, but when pressed, concedes that it was actually their cousin who did.
8. You probably hate Keytar Bear, but also feel really bad when he gets assaulted all across the city.
9. You go to see the fireworks on the 4th of July at the Hatch Shell once, and EXACTLY once.
10. You take a twisted pride in the fact that Boston is actually a windier city than Chicago and receives more rain annually than Seattle.
11. You have seen at least one moving truck sardine can itself on a bridge on college move-in weekend.
12. On at least one occasion, you have decided to sit at home watching “The Office” on a beautiful summer weekend, simply to avoid Cape traffic.
13. You have been towed because the city changed street sweeping day without making any sort of announcement.
14. You have had your lawn chair stolen from a parking space (which you put there legally!) because some idiot doesn’t know about the winter parking space saver rules.
15. You know what a Fluffernutter is and probably ate it for lunch almost every day in elementary school.
16. You have never heard the city referred to as “Bean Town” other than at the Beantown Pub, which you have visited to drink a Sam Adams while looking at his grave.
17. If you don’t specify, “bowling” means candlepin.
18. You’re Irish. Even if you’re not Irish. Even if you don’t want to be Irish … you’re Irish.
19. You have asked a person if they liked apples only to immediately hit them with “Well, I got her numbah! How do you like them apples?!?” Then, you laugh and laugh as your out-of-town friends roll their eyes behind your back.
20. You know about the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, but still can’t quite understand how it could possibly be true.
21. You have come to grips with the fact that The Big Dig will prevent us from any major infrastructure updates for the next hundred years, and you’re OK with it.
22. You know Revere Beach is a dump but you’ll defend it to the death. You also know there’s nothing dirty or sexual about asking for a three way at Kelly’s.
23. You don’t travel west of 495 because you cherish electricity and running water.
24. You know which buck-a-shuck you can trust and which ones you can’t.
25. Buying live lobsters to travel at the airport doesn’t seem that weird to you.
26. It’s perfectly acceptable to start drinking pumpkin beer in August and Summer Ale in March.
27. You know to order cold tea in Chinatown when you still want to drink after 2 a.m.
28. You have been to the point where 128 South, I-95 South and I-93 North are all the same road, and it still confuses you.
29. You have sat in Norm’s seat at Cheers and then told people how stupid it is that people care about sitting in Norm’s seat at Cheers.
30. You avoid Quincy Market like the plague.
31. Truck Day is basically a holiday.
Love that dirty water
The best thing about Boston is that there are too many things to love about living here, so we probably forgot to include them on our list. So, what did we leave out? Let us know in the comments!